Fruit Puree

"How do you feel today?"

If someone asked me that question last night, I wouldn't know what to say. Feeling a jumble of emotions at the same time is seldom easy. If only I could create compartments in my heart and segregate the individual feelings, it would make the situation less complex.


Here's a shot at it. And here's to hoping this will help out my confused mind.

Box 1 is for work
- I feel very tired. The 1 month slump has taken its toll. I'm tired of counting down weekdays and feeling sad on Sunday afternoons.
- I feel guilty, but more relieved than anything else.

Box 2 is for Lolo
- I'm worried.

Box 3 is for my 2-week a.k.a. half of November leave
- I don't feel as excited as I'm supposed to. Partly because I'll miss my office friends (Yehes, Click barkada!) and our Ilocos planning sessions every so often. Also because the start of my vacation means I'm closer to the end of it. (I know, right?!?)
- But I do have plans! I feel that I should put them into action. Scrapbooking. Sleep! TV. Books! Lunchies and dinners with friends (Jeth & Mike, ha!) Playing with Sean the whole day. Still attending planning meetings. Basically, just chill.

Box 4 is for YOU. The most confusing box in the stack.
- I feel jealous of her.
- I feel that I'm setting myself up for disappointment again. That I'm now expecting things that won't happen. I don't want to be controlled by this. I want to be more cautious.
- Apart from all that, I still feel hopeful. Kasi puede eh. Puede talaga.
- Lastly, I always feel damn happy when you're around. : ) Or even when I think of you... like now. : )


It's not like these boxes are still intact when they get mixed up inside of you. It's not like fruit salad. It's more like fruit puree (Anyone who got that has the same wave length as me.) And when the puree is inside it all feels like mush. Which, I want to clarify, doesn't feel good.

A normal Friday night, I must say.