Dream Beams

I sit and take in the view. However common, any beach is still a sight to behold. 

I decide to rest and lie back at our cabana. The sun hasn’t shown its face all day, making the beach dreary. The salt wind is strong, blowing the white curtains against their will. The waves are crashing rhythmically, lulling me in and out of sleep.

The pace has been slow today – nature does that to you. But the stories seem to be exchanged very quickly and to the verge of saturation, like a crazy torrent download. It’s as if we’re craving for something that reminds us of our life in the city instead of escaping to this sleepy world.

I try to absorb everything that’s being said. But part of me wants to leave it as it is – have it carried by the wind or swept by the sea, I don’t care. My mind starts to wander from the conversations to strange ideas and seldom-touched memories. They are hazy like the events of today, but come to life as quickly and as clearly as I think of them.

In a place like this, thoughts and feelings are left unguarded – as if the huge expanse of space can absorb them all. And so I indulge in what-could-have-beens and what-might-bes. I send out crazy dreams to the hiding sun and the vast sea. Never mind practicality, never mind logic, never mind the consequences. Today I let my guard down and indulge in the giddy, passionate, and even ridiculous thoughts.

I send out more dream beams when I finally fall asleep for the night. The waves and the rocks absorb them all. I feel invincible.

~

The same thoughts buzz through my head as we head out to the city the following day. We whiz along the highway and the trees are a blurry sight. As if on cue, a small voice reminds me that I should keep my mind in check – we are going back to the city after all.

And so I try to keep busy and shut my mind, like what I’ve been doing for ages. The concrete of the city brings back the consequences and shows me its harsh realities. It is easy to be busy and lose touch of dreams. There is so much happening that it hurts to keep the pace.

I wear my sunglasses and become a city mouse once again. Sipping my coffee and cursing at bad drivers, I return to the fast-paced life – all along afraid of my own thoughts. Afraid of how they’d make me feel when I think of them. Afraid that the concrete will not absorb them, but send them back to me at full speed.



© Isabel M. Casas, 20101201

At the Manger Mary Sings

O shut your bright eyes that mine must endanger
With their watchfulness; protected by its shade
Escape from my care: what can you discover
From my tender look but how to be afraid?
Love can but confirm the more it would deny.
Close your bright eye.

Sleep. What have you learned from the womb that bore you
But an anxiety your Father cannot feel?
Sleep. What will the flesh that I gave do for you,
Or my mother love, but tempt you from his will?
Why was I chosen to teach his Son to weep?
Little One, sleep.

Dream. In human dreams earth ascends to Heaven
Where no one need pray nor ever feel alone.
In your first few hours of life here, O have you
Chosen already what death must be your own?
How soon will you start on the Sorrowful Way?
Dream while you may.

W.H. Auden



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Beautiful. This was shared by Father Arevalo during a recollection held at the Gesu yesterday. I just love how it portrays Mary as the mother of Jesus. Mary as a human, someone exactly like us. Indeed, how will one feel if you know that the only thing you can give the Son of God is your humanity?

It's nearing Advent and my heart awaits Jesus with hope and joy. :)

Let It Rain

Again, I am a month late in creating a birthday post. I admit that I’m pressured to write something as inspired as last year’s or even the year before that, in the same way that I was afraid that this birthday will pale in comparison to my 25th. But I was proven wrong.

I feel that my birthday this year was so full. Not to cover up something that is missing, but to show me just how much I have.

































I’ve spent time with a lot of friends whom I love dearly. High school, college, work and grad school friends -- I’ve spent time with everyone. I know that I am blessed to have so many for this long.  I am thankful, because life will be less interesting and unbearable without all of you. Thank you especially for making me feel so loved this year.

















Of course, celebrating my special day with my family has been the tradition. I am thankful for another year with them. Our strong foundation of love and support is something that I am very proud of. At the end of the day, they are the people I come home to -- the ones that I know will always be there. And again, I am more thankful than I am proud to be a part of this family. We are truly blessed.

There are certain people in my life that I know will be there til the end. It touches and overwhelms me that I am blessed with so much to last a lifetime. And at 26, I hope there’s still a long way to go. The journey ahead is unknown but I do have a big support group behind me. And of course, He who has been there from the start will never leave my side.

As with every year, I offer up everything to Him -- 26 years up to a whole lifetime. Every day, every task, every relationship I work on -- I offer up to You. It’s the least I can do in return. Just as how the clouds portend of what is to come, I can see that You have so much more in store for me. And like the heavy downpours that I love -- the blessings, the love, the people, the experiences -- I hope that You continue to let it rain. <3