The Sisterhood

My one and only sister for 13 years celebrated her 18th birthday last week. Ma. Kristina
was born on November 14, 1987, and since then my life was never the
same. I became the 'ate' of a kid I've mistaken to be a boy. Hehe. 
Looking back at our childhood, I could remember many many highlights.
Playing jackstones as a family, driving home from our Lolo's place
every evening, sitting in our bus and fighting over the airconditioning... I
remember when she ripped a tiny bit off a page of my new Sweet Valley
book and I was mad as hell... I remember fighting over everything and
pulling her hair with so much irritation... I remember the way she
cried when we realized she left her ID at home, her quirks as a kid,
her messy messy hair... I remember seeing her laughable image when we
fetched her after her 2nd grade fieldtrip -- her uniform in disarray,
her hair in tangles, and her bright smile seemingly lighting up
everything. She's the girl I grew up with -- from Barbies to Princess
Sarah and Ang TV to Lion King and Pocahontas, we got hooked on
everything together. We studied at the same school, we lived in the same house, we sometimes got along, and we definitely
fought a lot. We were constant companions. We were and always will be
sisters.



Looking back, I don't think I deserved the title 'ate' during those
times. I was a kid and I didn't take my responsibilities seriously. I
grew up and became an adolescent, and I pushed her farther away. I
chose to be with my friends and thought being with my family was so
un-cool. Good thing I got my act together, aided with the birth of my
youngest sister, Paula Andrea.
Now, I feel the weight of my role. I love my sisters to bits. They are
treasures that could never never be replaced by anybody. I know that
even with time and distance, our love will always prevail. I would
never trade my sisters and their love for ANYTHING. (Not even a date with Abby )



Maybe when I'm old I'd reminisce these times and think of my sisters.
Maybe I'd give them a call, maybe a long-distance call, and talk of the
old times. Maybe we'd talk about how Kris and I picked on Paula, and of
how we all spoiled her. Maybe we'd talk of the good times, the laughter
and the fun spent at home. Maybe we'd talk about Kris's still-messy
hair, my mood swings, and Paula's loud voice in the mornings. Maybe
we'd talk about how we'd fight over the phone, the TV, and the radio.
Maybe we'd talk about cramming on Sunday nights while listening to
Magic's Sunday Slowdown. Maybe we'd talk about how we'd sing to
Spongecola, Rivermaya, Hale, and how we'd crushed on Christian Bautisa
when he still had long hair. Maybe we'd talk about the bad times too.
We'd talk about how each other matured and overcame her challenges, how
our family worked together through the rough times. Maybe we'd laugh
and be overwhelmed with nostalgia, wishing we were young again. But I'm
pretty sure we'd really not wish for anything else. Because our bond will always be
there. We will always be sisters, we will always be the bestest of best
friends.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"Without her, I don't make sense...." - In her Shoes

"O bakit ba pag wala ka na, ako'y kulang?" - Bakit, Mayonnaise



~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Analyzing Courtship and Friendship

Let me start off by sharing my new favorite song (Naks, I have a new favorite song every month, ha.)

Gitara
- Parokya ni Edgar

Bakit pa kailangan magbihis
Sayang din naman ang porma
Lagi na namang may sisingit
Sa twing' tayo'y magkasama
Bakit pa kailangan ng rosas
Kung marami namang
Mag-aalay sa'yo
Pupuno na lang ng paawit
Maghihintay ng pagkakataon

Hahayaan na lang silang
Magkandarapa na manligaw sa'yo
Idadaan na lang kita
Sa awitin kong ito
Sabay ang tugtog ng gitara
Idadaan na lang sa gitara

Mapapagod lang sa kakatingin
Kung marami namang nakaharang
Aawit na lang at magpaparinig
Ang lahat ng aking nadarama

Kakainlove yung song, as in. Guys who play the guitar are always a plus plus plus plus for me. I've never seen courting in this perspective before. The song shows the listeners how pining for a girl who also happens to be everyone's dreamgirl can be so frustrating.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~

The depression at the start of the week gave way to realizations that I should have learned years before. It also led to a drive to really, truly move on. I can feel people are already shaking their heads with this one. But I hope I can prove you wrong.

Everything in the middle of the week was just a blur of busy work, a lot of things to do and a lot of new things to learn. I love learning. Sometimes, I even love being busy. Well, it's better than nothing.

At the end of this week, I'm just plain happy. It's because last night, RG and I finally pushed through with our "libre mo ko sa first paycheck" plan. I've been working for four months, imagine that. As I said, RG's a busy man.

Anyway, I met his new girl last night. Her name's Rachel. I can say that she's really pretty and new. As I was sitting in RG's new silver Vios on the way to Eastwood, I asked her if she consented to be called Rachel. There was no reply, just the silent hum of her engine, and the music playing in the background.

On the way to Eastwood in his spanking new car (still can't get over it), RG and I talked a lot. At one point I even admitted that I was too talkative. But we haven't seen each other in a while and we had a lot of catching up to do. It's funny how our friendship is. As I said, he's never seen me on a normal day. It's always on a day when we decide to go out for merienda or lunch or dinner. We're not constant companions, but we're friends who see each other once in a while and try to cram every little update of our lives into that meeting. And we always end up having fun. Except when he's a brat and I'm a moody snob.

I miss having one of my best friends around. But I know that having him constantly by my side would totally change our friendship. So I choose to miss him instead.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Things I miss

1. Jogging
I didn't go jogging this week because I felt too tired. Now I think I'm having an alone-time deficit.

2. UP
The trees, the classes, even the chaotic reg times. I miss UP so much. I miss being in school so much. Especially now that Eng'g Week's just a month away.

3. Choral Singing
In about a week or two, people will start practicing for the Awitan. I miss our Choco Mocha nights. I miss going home at 9pm every evening after practices. I miss practicing our songs late at night with Noteworthy. I miss enjoying crappy arrangements (*ehem*). I miss hearing our voices blend. I miss singing so much.

4. Driving
I miss my car. I miss waking up at 9am in the morning and leaving at 9.45am to catch my 10am class. I miss driving through Philcoa and then seeing the big Unibersidad ng Pilipinas sign and the Oblation on the way to Eng'g. I miss going home late at night after Genmeets or Friday night dinners with my car jampacked with friends. I miss driving. Even turning on my signal lights.

5. Writing
One of my heart's greatest desires. I want to be a writer. I know I will be. Right now, I just miss the times when I can sit down and write a story. I miss being inspired. I miss being the editor, the poet -- the passionate writer.

6. Old Times
I sometimes hope that time would just go on a cycle. That things would go on like it used to be -- so carefree and so filled with happiness and smiles. I sometimes wish that our actions wouldn't have consequences, that things wouldn't have to be complicated. I wish that you can encapture experiences that bring you joy in glass and then just repeat it over and over again. I wish I wouldn't have to say goodbye.

I miss the old times because of their innocence and the happiness that I felt because of them. I wish it didn't turn out this way, but I know this is how it's supposed to be. I feel bad about closing this door. I feel bad about saying goodbye to you. But I have to.

 

*If you did not understand #6, please do not mind. I had to do this for myself. Thanks.
If you did, please do keep your mouth shut. Thanks again.